


'Life' means Life, Chief!

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Time, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-25 19:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14385213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: In this story, the boys’ eyes are opened to each other much earlier in their relationship beginning with their reluctant epiphany after their return from Peru in the episode ‘Flight’.  Canon-divergent from that point onwards, this is another way I’d like to have seen their partnership develop.





	1. Prompt - Flight

**Author's Note:**

> A SenBingo story in 5 Prompts = 5 Chapters:  
> 1\. Flight  
> 2\. Phone call  
> 3\. Sharing space  
> 4\. Real Deal  
> 5\. Growing old together

**Chapter 1: Prompt – Flight**   


**The loft:**  


“You know what, Jim? I’m bushed! I think I’ll get an early night if it’s OK with you, man. Chancellor Edwards won’t be the only one after my hide if I don’t make it in to the U tomorrow. This Peruvian jaunt wasn’t exactly an Anthro Department approved one after all!” 

Blair drained his beer and offered Jim a tired grin, exhaustion rapidly taking over now the remnants of his prolonged adrenalin-fuelled energy surge were finally draining away. Much as he was glad that he had had a hand in rescuing Simon and Daryl, albeit a fairly negligible one in his own view, he was relieved to be back home safe in the loft. And he wasn’t kidding about Edwards’ likely disapproval concerning his absenteeism. That witch would love to stick it to him if she could, and he knew it wasn’t the best idea to rile her unnecessarily. But he sincerely believed that it was his duty to back up his sentinel and friend, and he wasn’t sorry to have done so. 

“Sure, Chief,” Jim replied, returning Blair’s grin. “I probably won’t be too much later myself. And, er, thanks for the back-up, buddy. You did good!” 

He was a little taken aback at the bright smile that his small praise elicited from his young roomie, surprised at the rather extreme response, but it also gave him pause for thought. Perhaps he didn’t praise or thank Sandburg often enough for his efforts on Jim’s behalf, so he told himself he’d be more forthcoming in future. 

But in the meantime, they were both tired from their jungle adventures, and he needed to do his own ‘processing’ after seeing that jaguar spirit animal here in the loft. He’d like to think that it was an hallucination due to exhaustion, but since it wasn’t the first time he’d seen the beast, he didn’t really believe that. Perhaps he should tell Blair about it? But no. Not now. He simply wasn’t up to dealing with Blair’s high-octane scientific analysis right now. There was nothing like an interesting sentinel-based phenomenon to get Blair’s academic juices running, however tired the kid was. Maybe later after they were both rested. Yeah, that’d do. 

He watched Blair move to the kitchen to rinse out his bottle for the recycling, noting the tired slump of the shoulders despite the soft smile still gracing his partner’s features. “See you in the morning, Chief,” he murmured, pleased when Blair turned back to grin at him again. 

“Back at ya, man!” he chuckled, and with that, he made his way to the bathroom to take care of business before retiring to his small room under the stairs.  


\-------------------------------  


Some while later, Blair was still staring at the ceiling above his bed, cursing his inability to sleep. Although physically worn out and crying out for rest, his mind simply refused to shut down, endlessly picking over thoughts and emotions he had never had to contemplate seriously before. Thoughts that concerned his dissertation subject and now friend, Jim Ellison. When he had said to Jim earlier that evening that ‘it was about friendship’, he had meant it. But now he was forced to face the fact that it was much more than that. Naomi Sandburg’s little boy had never been encouraged to want or need either people or possessions, ‘detaching with love’ rather than face the hurt of loss. His whole early life had been one of transience, never staying at any one place long enough to put down roots before his free-spirited hippy mom took off again for pastures new in her everlasting search for love and enlightenment. It was only when he had decided to stay in Cascade in order to study at Rainier that he had actually begun to recognise his deeply hidden desire for permanence. And even more than that, a longing for a real home. But life-long habits were hard to break, and he still found it almost impossible to commit to anyone for fear of being hurt or hurting in return. Although never short of a date, lasting relationships were unheard of, since he always broke away as soon as it looked like he was going to have to give more than he felt comfortable with. 

So what was wrong with him now? Why had he allowed himself to get comfortable here in the loft? It was undoubtedly the first place he had begun to think of as a real ‘home’, and he was going to hate it when he had to leave. Because he supposed that, once his dissertation was done, he’d have no reason to stay. No reason to expect Jim to put up with him any longer under his feet. 

Of course, in his heart of hearts he knew the answer to all of his questions, and it was embodied in one amazing person. A man Blair had learned to admire above and beyond his gifts as a sentinel and the subject of Blair’s study. He knew and liked Jim the man and cop. Cranky, short-tempered and anal for sure, but also honourable, brave and considerate. And both tolerant and protective of his irritating, mouthy tagalong. 

When Blair had told him about the full consequences of Eli’s fantastic offer, Jim had been genuinely hurt. And Blair still wasn’t sure what his own decision would have been had not that call come in immediately concerning Simon and Daryl’s disappearance. But come in it had, and he hadn’t had to think twice about accompanying Jim. And once they were committed, look at what he had done. Jumped out of a perfectly good aeroplane, for the goddess’ sake. If that wasn’t love, what was? 

Love? Huh? Now that was something he knew very little about. Certainly he loved Naomi. That was a given. And he loved to study people and cultures, hence his dedication to anthropology. But loving an individual to the extent of committing himself? That was something he’d never experienced. And the thought was terrifying. If he gave his heart to Jim, would he get it handed back to him in pieces? 

_No, best not to get too attached yet, Sandburg,_ he thought. _Think about your self-protection!_

And at that point, his thought processes finally shut down enough to allow him to sleep.  


\-------------------------------  


Upstairs in the other bedroom, Jim was suffering from his own restlessness. He too was physically weary, but like his roomie below, was also the unwilling victim of an over-active brain. And it was thoughts of that same roomie that were now keeping him from his much-needed rest. He admitted to himself that he had been seriously upset at the thought of Blair bailing on him to go to Borneo on that extended trip. Objectively, he knew he had no right to complain. It was what Blair did. And it was a fantastic opportunity for the young anthropologist. But despite his earlier reservations, Jim had become accustomed to his untidy, noisy roommate, and realised that it was Blair who made the loft feel like a home. He hadn’t had much interest in it before, especially since his divorce, thinking of it as simply a place to lay his head. But now it reflected both their very different personalities, and looked the better for it. 

And he had also learned to appreciate Blair’s willing assistance, even in cases in which he had no right to ask the kid to be involved. Blair simply followed his lead; despite being told endlessly by Simon that ‘you’re not a cop, Sandburg’; backing Jim up by words and deeds without a second thought even when it put him in serious danger. What was it Brackett had said? That Blair was Jim’s ‘guide’. To Jim’s mind, the rogue agent had hit the nail on the head with that comment. Blair _did_ guide him through all the problems his senses threw up, making suggestions and coming up with ideas apparently out of thin air, all of which Jim admitted now had most likely saved his sanity. 

His thoughts returning to the Borneo question, he realised that Blair’s willingness to drop everything just to back him up was more than the kid’s desire to help Simon and Daryl, even though that was an important factor in his decision. It was an indication of just how dedicated Blair was to Jim himself, and that realisation was humbling. Why the heck would he do something as crazy as jump out after Jim if it wasn’t for love? 

Love? Blair had admitted that ‘it was about friendship’, so why was Jim thinking in terms of ‘love’? 

No. Too much. _Way_ too much! Not going down that path tonight. Jim recognised his need for self-protection after all. 

And on that thought, he too fell asleep.  



	2. Prompt - Phone call

**Chapter 2: Prompt – Phone call:**   
**Following morning:**   


Neither man looked particularly rested the following morning, for good reason. Troublesome images and possibilities had conspired to wake them at intervals during the night, such that they made a fine pair of uncommunicative grumpy butts who could barely manage to address each other with a modicum of civility when they had to speak at all. Having said that, they were both too wrapped up in their own thoughts to begrudge the other either stony silence or non-committal grunts as they worked their way doggedly through breakfast, both relieved when the time came to leave the loft to go to their respective destinations. 

Exiting the building together, as they made their way to their respective vehicles, Jim roused himself enough to ask, “Are you going to make it in to the PD later, Chief? If you’re not too busy, that is.” 

Turning to face him, smiling at last, Blair nodded agreeably. “Yeah, I should be able to make it this afternoon, Jim. I have a full morning, but I could meet you for lunch, maybe?” and the hopeful look on his face was enough to finish thawing out Jim’s frosty and distracted attitude. 

“That’d be good, Chief. How about we meet at that Thai place you like on Greer? About 1300 hours?” 

“Sure, Jim! That’ll be good! See you then, man!” and with a jaunty wave he climbed into his beat-up Corvair and drove off, leaving a rather bemused sentinel behind him. 

Climbing into his own truck, Jim pulled away and drove to the PD, much more carefully than the norm for him, truth be told, but only because he was still mulling over the same lines of thought from the previous evening. He realised that he was fixating on that phone call. Not the one where Blair had received the offer of the expedition, even though that had certainly shocked the heck out of Jim not least because of his own unexpected reaction to the potential loss of his helper and roommate. No, it was the other one. The voicemail message from Stoddard’s secretary that had been waiting for them on their return, requesting an urgent response from Blair. 

Listening to it, Jim’s fears had immediately been reignited, only for Blair to say that he’d decided not to go. Not to grasp that amazing opportunity for the sake of their partnership. And for what? For friendship, he said. And for the life of him Jim couldn’t understand what he had done to deserve such a sacrifice. No one did stuff like that for him unless there was an ulterior motive. Yes, of course Blair was getting a dissertation out of their time together, but if that was all there was to it, he could have put that on hold while he went swanning off to Borneo gathering kudos and enhancing his reputation as an anthropologist of note. And instead, there he was, almost nonchalantly stating that he wasn’t going. 

And Jim couldn’t stop thinking about it. And the possibilities it threw up. 

It was almost with a sigh of relief that he pulled up in the underground parking garage and made his way to the elevators, exchanging greetings with a few other colleagues on the way. He needed to get to the bullpen and immerse himself in some police work, even if it was tackling the dreaded self-propagating In-tray. Anything to take his mind off his ‘guide’ and what the kid was beginning to mean to him. 

Unfortunately Simon had different ideas about that, and as soon as Jim reached his desk, his captain’s head appeared around his office door. 

“A word, Jim, if you would,” and he disappeared back inside his inner sanctum, knowing that his subordinate and friend would comply. 

With a faint sigh of resignation, Jim turned aside and headed towards Simon’s office, nodding a greeting to a couple of the other detectives en route. So much for burying himself in a few hours’ of mindless mundane bureaucracy. A cosy chat with Simon was usually a pleasant distraction, but this time he had the uneasy feeling that it could lead on to more personal matters. And he so wasn’t ready to discuss his new perceptions, even with his oldest friend. He would just have to do his best to distract Simon. It was worth a try. 

Sitting in the seat Simon indicated, Jim automatically scanned his friend with his senses. The older man looked somewhat tired, but otherwise surprisingly none the worse for wear after his traumatic Peruvian activities. As he busied himself pouring two mugs of gourmet coffee from his personal stash, Simon asked over his shoulder, “How are you feeling, Jim? And the kid? I just wanted to have a quick word with you to thank you again for coming to our rescue. It was above and beyond, man, especially for Sandburg. Daryl and I couldn’t be more grateful.” 

“We’re both fine, sir, and you’re welcome,” Jim replied with a grin. “Besides, you’d do the same for me, I’m sure. And Blair insisted on coming with me, even if it was so far out of his comfort zone to be out of sight! I can’t fault his courage, Simon, even though he insists he’s a coward at heart.” 

“I agree, Jim. I know I’m always barking at him for one thing or another, because he does irritate the shit out of me at times, but his heart’s in the right place for sure. And Daryl thinks he’s ‘way cool’, so who am I to argue? He thinks you’re cool too, by the way,” Simon added with a chuckle. 

However, he sobered again as he took a few sips of coffee, and Jim knew that something unpleasant was coming. 

He wasn’t wrong. 

Putting his mug down, Simon met his inquisitive gaze with a direct and serious one of his own. 

“It’s because I appreciate both your efforts on my behalf that makes this next question hard to ask, but I have no option but to put it to you. I’m getting flak from above about the length of time Sandburg’s been riding with you, seeing as his 90 day pass ran out weeks ago. The Chief’s been getting antsy about having an untrained and unarmed civilian tagging along with you, and putting himself in danger. Hell, even getting himself hurt and kidnapped! All TPTB are thinking ‘litigation’ here, even though Sandburg signed a waiver, and they want him gone, despite all the help he’s been to you and to the department. I need you to tell me truthfully how much you still need him so that I can go in to bat for you with as much ammunition as possible. 

“Unless, of course, you’ve already decided that you can manage the senses now without him?” 

OK, time to come clean. _Or perhaps this is the excuse I need to solve my problem? Jim thought quickly. If Blair’s pass is pulled, I can honestly tell him ‘thanks for the help, go and get on with your life’. He could still go on that trip to Borneo, couldn’t he?_

_But I don’t want him to! And I don’t believe I can deal with these senses without him. He was right when he said I needed him. I still do. And I think I always will._

Straightening in his seat, Jim answered Simon frankly. He knew what he was going to say wouldn’t go over too well with his pragmatic boss, but it had to be said. He admitted to himself that he wanted Blair to stay around for as long as possible, and he wasn’t too proud to beg if necessary. 

“You want the truth, Simon? Because I’ll tell you what I can, but don’t be surprised if you don’t like it. I know you consider this whole senses thing as ‘sentinel voodoo bullshit’, and I’m only grateful that you didn’t write me up for the Funny Farm when they first manifested. But the fact remains that they exist, and while I still don’t appreciate them as the gift Blair reckons they are, I still need to be able to control them. And the only way I can do that is if Sandburg’s with me. I mean, physically, as much as possible. 

“Yeah, sure, I don’t go instantly into panic mode now if they cut in. Blair has convinced me that they’re an integral part of my makeup, and are a natural genetic variation. But it’s him. His physical presence that grounds me. And he’s the only one who has the slightest notion of what I’m going through when they go haywire. Just as he’s the only one who seems to be able to come up with suggestions out of thin air. 

“Look, sir, do you remember Lee Brackett? Or rather, did I ever mention what he said?” And when a perplexed-looking Simon shook his head, Jim continued earnestly, needing to get his point across. 

“When he came to the loft, and Blair tried to pass himself off as merely a lowly student, Brackett wasn’t having it. He knew about the senses, which is why he wanted me to help him, but he also knew about the sentinel’s companion. Now Blair has always said that a sentinel needed a partner to watch his back when using the senses, but he’s never believed that he was anything special. Just someone who knew about sentinels who was in the right place at the right time. Brackett, on the other hand, reckoned he knew better. He called Blair my ‘guide’, and dammit, sir, I think he was right. Blair _does_ guide me in every respect. Without him I’d probably zone and get myself – or someone else – killed. He’s the only one whose touch I respond to quickly if I do fade out, and I use his scent and heartbeat as a baseline to ground me.” 

By this time, Simon was looking decidedly uncomfortable. This was way more information than he actually wanted, even though it was convincing him that Jim really did need Blair to stay. But heartbeats? Scents? What the hell? 

“Hold up, Jim. Let me try and get my head around this. I mean, you’re right when you say that I don’t deal well with the arcane. Most of what you’ve told me is out there in the Twilight Zone in my view. You mean to tell me you actually hear Sandburg’s heart? How do you know it’s his?” 

“Because I’ve imprinted it, sir. Listening for it is as instinctive for me now as breathing. Like his scent, it’s unique, and although I can catalogue plenty of others now he’s shown me how – even yours, Simon - it’s his alone that grounds me. And the only reason my arrest and conviction record has risen so dramatically is because of him and his support, voluntarily given and for no expectation of reward. I was a good cop before, but with his backing, I could be a great one. According to Blair, anyway. 

“So how’s that for friendship, Simon? Could I ask for more?” 

For a moment, Simon was silent, scrubbing his face with his hands as he marshalled his thoughts. Finally looking up to meet Jim’s expectant gaze, he replied reluctantly, “OK, Jim. Say I believe you. Or at least believe that _you_ believe what you’re saying is true. I’m still not sure how I can sell it to the Chief. But leave it with me, and I’ll try, man. I don’t want to lose the best team I’ve ever had, even if half of it is an untrained, mouthy grad student. You’re right insofar as the stats should speak for themselves. MCU is already topping the charts as far as arrests and convictions are concerned, and I have no qualms about using that as ammunition. 

“Leave it with me, and I’ll do what I can. That’s all I can say. 

“So, is Sandburg coming in this afternoon?” 

“Yes, sir. We’re meeting for lunch, then we’ll both be in this afternoon.” 

“Good. OK, then. I won’t have an answer for you by then, but hopefully within the next day or so. 

“And I suggest you don’t worry the kid with any of this unless it becomes necessary, OK?” 

“You got it sir,” and with that, Jim rose to his feet, knowing that even if his boss didn’t truly understand everything he’d been told, he would still do his best by Blair. 

And as he returned to his desk, Jim was mightily relieved that he hadn’t had to bare his soul any more than he had already. He told himself firmly that as far as a deeper relationship with Sandburg was concerned, he’d do well to take it steady. Play it by ear. _Don’t set yourself up for a fall, Ellison, my son,_ he told himself firmly. _If something seems too good to be true, it probably is!_  


\----------------------------------  


While all this was going on, Blair was suffering from his own anxieties. He had already decided on the drive to Rainier that he was going to try and see Dr Stoddard before he did anything else. To explain to Eli in person why he was prepared to throw his friend and mentor’s wonderful offer back in his face. It was the least he could do, but he was dreading it. He hoped Eli would understand. But if he didn’t, and took umbrage at Blair’s excuses, then Blair might be looking at the end of a truly wonderful relationship with the man who had been his hero ever since he decided to study anthropology. 

But for Jim’s sake, it had to be done. And damn the consequences. 

Pulling up in the nearest lot to Hargrove Hall as possible, he climbed out of his car and jogged up the steps to the main entrance, automatically exchanging cheerful greetings with the many colleagues and students he encountered on the way. Never having much in the way of self-esteem, it never occurred to Blair to notice how many honest smiles and kind words his presence engendered in so many of his acquaintance. However, today there was an underlying anxiety beneath his sunny exterior, which only those who knew him really well would be able to discern. 

Making his way directly to the Anthropology Department rather than going to his own little storeroom-cum-unofficial-office first, he entered the outer office of the imposing rooms allotted to Dr Eli Stoddard, the renowned and much admired Head of Department. 

Grinning a little nervously at the pleasant-looking middle aged woman behind the desk, he said, “Er, hi, Janet. Is there any chance of seeing Eli for a few minutes? I won’t keep him long if he’s busy.” 

Tilting her head to one side as she regarded him speculatively, she replied, “I’m assuming this has something to do with the Borneo trip, right? I suspect he’ll make time for you, Blair, especially if you’re here to explain why you can’t go. Don’t look so worried, dear. I’ll just stick my head around the door and see if he’s free.” 

So saying, she rose to her feet and tapped on the professor’s door before entering, and Blair heard her exchange a few words before returning to her desk. 

“Go ahead, Blair,” she said with a smile. “He does have a meeting in an hour’s time, but he says you can go in. 

“Good luck, dear,” and she resumed her work as Blair knocked and entered his mentor’s imposing domain. 

“Come in, come in, dear boy. Take a seat!” came the hearty greeting, and a good portion of Blair’s anxiety dissipated in the face of Eli’s genuine welcome. Doing as he was bid, he regarded the other man fondly, absently noting that Eli seemed little changed from the first time Blair had met him almost a decade ago. A few inches taller than Blair, Eli was wiry and fit from years of arduous expeditions, his pleasant, even-featured face weathered but full of character, the twinkling green eyes still bright with enthusiasm for his subject. He had a full head of thick, fair hair which had been bleached almost white by the elements. 

“I suspect you’re here to explain to me why you can’t come to Borneo with me, am I right?” and at Blair’s sheepish nod, Eli continued kindly, “Well, I appreciate that, young man, even if I’m disappointed that you won’t be accompanying me this time. 

“So, is this on account of your dissertation subject by any chance?” 

Blair knew that he should have expected that someone as perspicacious as Eli would get straight to the heart of the matter, but it threw him a little nonetheless. But there was nothing for it but to ‘fess up inasmuch as he could without endangering Jim’s anonymity, so he took a deep breath and began. 

“Um, yes, Eli. I really am sorry not to go with you, and I appreciate your offer more than I can say. But you know my diss committee has been making a lot of noises lately about my lack of progress on the sentinel topic? Well, I’m actually making some now, and I daren’t risk losing either the momentum, or the goodwill of my Primary Subject. I’ve been wanting to get my doctorate on this subject for so long. It’s almost become my life! You do understand, don’t you?” he added plaintively, praying that Eli truly did sympathise with his argument. 

Nodding thoughtfully, Eli rested his chin on his steepled fingers as he studied his favourite student. 

“Yes, dear boy, I do. So stop looking as if I’m about to send you to the gallows! I’ve known you for long enough now to know how dear the topic of sentinels is to you, and even though one or two of the higher administrators seem to think you’re a thorn in their side, I appreciate all the years of effort and sacrifice you have made on behalf of this university. You deserve your doctorate, Blair, and I truly hope that this time you have the means to achieve it. 

“However, I hope you won’t take it amiss if this old warhorse offers you some advice. Now, you don’t have to say anything to either agree with or deny what I’m about to suggest, but just think about it, all right? 

“The thing is, I think that you’re treading a very tricky path as regards your Primary Subject, Blair. I know you’ve been riding with a certain detective from Cascade PD for some time now under the guise of gathering data for a series of articles on closed societies. But I believe that it is this detective who is actually your Primary Subject, and if so, you’re going to find it hard to keep his anonymity intact if that’s what he wants. Even without naming him, people are going to put two and two together, and you know how suspicious so many of our fellow academics are! 

“There’s also the question of ‘going native’, dear boy. I know you, and have always admired your integrity, but isn’t it just possible that your admiration for your subject might lead you to lose your objectivity? Especially as I understand that you have been rooming with him for a while now. 

“All I ask is that you consider your options carefully, Blair. I want you to succeed, but if you intend to persevere with the sentinel paper, perhaps you should consider distancing yourself from your detective, eh?” 

He could tell by the devastation on his young friend’s pale face that he had hurt and upset Blair, but he believed he had done the right thing. Blair had probably already had thoughts and doubts along those lines – he was incredibly smart, after all, and he was probably one of the most ethical students Eli had ever come across – but perhaps he had needed someone to spell it out for him before he got any more integrated into his subject’s life. It didn’t make him feel any better though when the young man raised wide, mournful eyes to meet his. 

“Um, thanks, I think, Eli,” he finally murmured. “I…I’ll certainly think about your warnings, man. I didn’t realise I was being quite so transparent, so perhaps you’re right and I am getting too close to my subject. And I guess I need to discuss it further with him also. It’s only fair. 

“If you don’t mind, I’ll go now. But thanks again, both for the offer, and for the advice even if I didn’t want to hear it,” he chuckled ruefully. “Will I see you again before you set off for Borneo?” 

“Of course, dear boy! Any time you want to drop by, you’re always welcome. I leave in two weeks’ time, so I hope you’ll call in before then.” 

Blair took his leave then, and made his way to his humble office space, deep in thought and feeling more depressed than he had for a long time. In his heart of hearts he knew that Eli was right on all counts, and that he was foolish to have believed he could get away with hoodwinking his peers that his presence at the PD was for anything other than studying Jim-as-sentinel rather than Jim as merely a cop in a ‘closed society’ context for a series of articles. Who had he been trying to kid? And what _about_ the question of objectivity? If he was truly honest with himself, he’d realise that _that_ had gone out the door weeks ago, around about the time he moved into the loft and didn’t get asked to move out again after the agreed week was up. 

So what now? Did he pull back from the best friendship he’d ever had so that he could regain his academic perspective? Surely it was too late for that, unless he wanted to hurt Jim – and himself – deeply and irrevocably. Maybe he should consider changing his diss topic after all, so that they could just be friends? But then again, why would Jim want him around unless Blair had an excuse other than helping out occasionally with the senses? Sooner or later Jim would get used to his gift, and he wouldn’t need Blair underfoot anymore. 

_Blair, my lad, you should have known that everything was too good to be true. So unless you’re going to run away like you usually do, you’ve got some serious decisions to make._ But then a hurt little voice deep inside whispered temptingly, _but perhaps not just yet…._  



	3. Prompt - Sharing Space

**Chapter 3: Prompt – Sharing Space:**   


**Later that day:**  


It was a still sombre pair who met at the Thai restaurant for lunch. Both men had plenty on their minds to keep them distracted, and for once their easy camaraderie was replaced by awkwardness. However, they ordered their meals and settled in a reasonably quiet booth, each wondering who was going to start the ball rolling to discover whether their present unease could be undone, or whether – goddess forbid – this was the beginning of the end for their partnership. They exchanged stilted conversation until the food was served, and then, after stirring disconsolately at his Pad Thai noodles for a few moments, Blair put down his spoon and met Jim’s wary gaze, his own eyes worried yet determined. 

“Ah, Jim, man. Look, I’ve been thinking…” only to tail off when he saw the look on his friend’s face. The big cop looked as if he had just received a severe shock, but was trying to put a brave face on it. 

“It’s OK, Jim,” he hurried on. “I…I mean, I’ll still be here for you, I promise! If you need me, I’ll be here! It…it’s just that, you know, I thought that maybe…um…maybe you want your space back? See, I know I’ve outstayed my ‘week’ for ages now, and you’ve been so good about it. Considering you didn’t really want me there anyway. And I do understand, man. I mean, I’ve never had anyone put up with me for so long. I know I’m hard to live with. I’m messy, annoying and I talk too much…” and he blushed sheepishly for second before continuing. 

“So, this whole Peru thing made me think. Made me realise how selfish I was being, making myself at home in the loft and assuming you were OK with it. I want you to tell me the truth, man. Should I be looking for somewhere else to live?” 

He watched Jim’s reactions carefully, mental fingers crossed and unaware that his own expression was incredibly appealing, all wide-eyed puppy dog hopefulness. Whatever happened with the diss, he never wanted to lose this friend who was becoming so much more to him than anyone else he’d ever cared about, barring perhaps Naomi. 

From Jim’s point of view, it couldn’t have been better. For a moment he’d thought that Blair really did want to move on after all, despite his declarations that he’d still be there for the senses if needed. For sure, he’d only agreed very grudgingly to take in Blair and his little ape Larry for a few days simply because it wasn’t in him to think of them out on the street, but he’d soon learned to appreciate the company, untidiness and wet towels notwithstanding. Especially after Larry had been returned to the U, it had to be said. The thought of returning to his pristine, soulless lifestyle had upset him more than he’d have believed, and the relief that Blair didn’t really want to go was overwhelming. Whatever happened further on down the line once the dreaded diss was done, he’d worry about that later and enjoy whatever companionship he could for now. 

“No, Chief, I don’t want my space back. I’ve gotten used to the company, and as long as you keep making an effort to keep to the House Rules,” he continued, with a sardonic grin and a chuckle, “I’m happy for you to stay, OK?” 

His reward was a beaming, full-on Sandburg megawatt smile, and he congratulated himself for eliciting that response from his friend. 

“Oh, man, thanks! Thank you so much! I didn’t want to move out, but I would have done if you’d have wanted me to. Just…thanks!” 

And with that, the awkward atmosphere between them dissipated instantly, and lunch progressed in a relaxed and happy mood. Neither man was prepared to dampen their present contentment with thoughts of an uncertain future.  



	4. Prompt - The Real Deal

**Chapter 4: Prompt – The Real Deal:**   


**Some weeks later:**  


Once again it was two exhausted men who entered the loft, both incredibly relieved to be home more or less safe and sound after another case from hell. Over the past few weeks, they had tackled several such difficult and potentially dangerous cases, the type that were par for the course for Major Crimes, but generally falling to them to succeed where others might not. They had apprehended poachers, foiled bank heists and dealt with arsonists and bombers, all of which enhanced their reputation as Simon Banks’ ace team, and Jim’s ever-improving arrest and conviction record couldn’t help but reflect well on both the unit and the PD as a whole. It also helped keep Banks’ superiors off his back in regards to Blair’s continuing ride-along pass, but things inevitably were about to come to a head. 

Over the same period of time, Jim and Blair had rubbed along more or less contentedly together in the loft, their comfortable friendship deliberately undisturbed by any unsolicited declarations of a deeper affection as both men carefully avoided upsetting the status quo. Hell, they’d even tried dating a few times to maintain their façade of manly, het camaraderie, although on nearly every occasion the attempts had ended pretty disastrously due to their unfortunate choice of female company. 

Not only that, but Blair was still dithering over what to do about his diss, fobbing his committee off with promises of chapters nearly ready for review, although he knew that the situation couldn’t go on for much longer before he was called on it and was forced to make a choice one way or the other. 

Now, however, it seemed as if the time had come for decisions to be made, and both men were dreading it. 

As Blair slumped down wearily on the sofa, Jim stalked around to stand in front of him, no longer prepared to keep silent about the fear and anger building up and festering inside him. They had been called out to a hostage situation at Cascade Mutual Bank, where two robbers had been trapped inside with several of the bank’s staff members, and a few civilian customers. Jim had used his senses to ascertain how many perps and hostages they were dealing with, and once he had provided the information, the negotiator had tried unsuccessfully to bargain for the hostages’ release. The surrounding cops prepared for action as the SWAT team and a couple of snipers moved into place. 

Suddenly all hell had broken loose, and the would-be robbers had opened fire, sending the hostages out in a panicked rush as a diversion. Jim sprang into action, intending to take out the robbers as they emerged while the other cops assisted the hostages and endeavoured to provide covering fire, and that was when the trouble really started. 

As he carefully took aim and took out the first robber, who had been attempting to use one of the bank staff as a living shield, the second appeared around the side of the building, having used an emergency exit. He had had a clear shot at Jim, and was preparing to take it when a flying blur had pushed the sentinel to the ground, leaving the robber to be taken down by another member of the SWAT team. 

The flying blur had, of course, been Blair, who once again ignoring Jim’s instructions to ‘stay in the truck’, had thrown himself into the path of the robber’s bullet in order to save his sentinel. 

And had got himself nicked in the arm for his trouble. 

And Jim was beyond furious. 

He had never been so frightened in his life when he had pushed himself up from the ground to find himself partially covered by his guide. His wounded and bleeding guide. He had swiftly scanned the young man, his relief overwhelming when he realised that it was just a deep graze, but his fear had turned to fury when his friend had tried to make light of it, simply saying, “Hey, man, it’s just a flesh wound! I’ve had worse!” 

It was only the appearance of Simon and the paramedics who prevented Jim from erupting then and there, but now they were back home again the time was ripe for him to vent his anger at his hapless partner. 

“Just what the _hell_ were you thinking of, Chief? You could have been killed! Why couldn’t you obey orders for a change, huh? Do you realise how much trouble you caused? You frightened the life out of me, and Simon’s having conniptions wondering how on earth he’s going to convince the Chief and Commissioner not to pull your pass now! This was one time too many, Chief. For god’s sake, you could have died!” 

Blair’s expression was devastated for a moment as he felt the lash of Jim’s tongue, but then his own anger and fear emerged. Even if it was the last thing he did, he was going to damn well make Jim listen to him, and understand exactly why he did what he did. 

“What was I thinking, Jim? Well, how about this for size! I was thinking that I was about to see my best friend and sentinel taken out by some no-account bad guy. And there was no way I was going to let that happen if I could do anything about it! Don’t you see, man? You’re incredible – your contribution to society is far too great to be wasted! You should have years in which to protect the tribe, man. It’s what you do! 

“And it’s my job to protect _you,_ Jim. You call me your ‘guide’ now, and that’s what I intend to do, even if it means getting myself injured in the process. It’s no more than any one of your fellow cops would do, man, and I’m way more than that. I love you, man, and I can’t see you in danger without trying to do something about it!” 

For a moment, Jim was completely taken aback, his mind focussing on just a few impassioned words. Blair had just said that he loved Jim. Gods! Did that mean what he hoped, or did it mean the brotherly, comradely type of love? He had to know. 

Sinking to his knees before Blair, and taking the younger man’s hands into his own, careful not to jostle the injured arm, he gazed intently into Blair still furiously blazing blue eyes. “What do you mean, _you love me,_ Chief? Do you mean, like a brother, like family? Or something else…” and there was no mistaking the hopeful tone of voice and the expression that crept across his handsome features. 

To be mirrored in the beautiful face and now softly glowing eyes gazing back at him as Blair whispered, “No, Jim. Not brotherly love. I mean, I’m _in love_ with you, man. Have been for a while now, but was too scared to say anything. I didn’t want to make you uneasy about me being here. In the loft. With you. If you want it, it’s the real deal, Jim. It took me long enough to admit it to myself, but now I think I finally know what love really is, and it’s all for you.” 

Jim hardly dared believe his luck – or the evidence of his own ears – as he raised both hands to cup Blair’s face, his own face now suffused with love and joy. “Oh, Chief! You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that. Or how long I’ve wanted to say it myself. We’re quite the pair, aren’t we? But I’m still sorry it took a nearly disastrous situation to make us finally admit the truth. 

“But if you’re really sure, would you come to bed with me? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to yet, but I think I need to hold you, babe. To prove to myself that you’re still here with me, alive and almost whole!” 

Blair smiled softly as his eyes sparkled with pleasure. “Oh yes, Jim! I’d love to go to bed with you! I’ve wanted to share your bed like, forever, man! 

“Er, there’s just one thing you ought to know, Big Guy, before you commit yourself. It’s just that, um…I haven’t actually done the deed with a man before. I mean, I’ve always been open to the idea. Mom always taught me that it was the person not the package that mattered. But I’ve never actually trusted another guy enough to go all the way, so I haven’t got past first base yet,” and he tried to duck his head in embarrassment. 

However, Jim was having none of it, and he gently forced Blair to meet his eyes again. “That’s fine, babe. I mean, I’m almost ashamed to admit that I _do_ know what I’m doing, because there were occasions in the military and in Vice where I scratched an itch without strings attached, if you know what I mean. But this will be nothing like that, babe. This will be making love, not just having sex, and I should be honoured to be your first, Blair. And hopefully, your last!” 

Blair’s face glowed with happiness as he replied eagerly, “Thanks, Jim! That means a lot to me. Can we go now?” 

And Jim laughed delightedly at his soon-to-be lover’s enthusiasm, vowing to himself that he was going to do this right. To make it special for his virgin guide. 

Within a short time, they were upstairs and on the bed, kissing for the first time, and loving every second of it. Blair moaned in pleasure as his mouth was thoroughly explored and tasted, and when Jim broke off in order to undress him, mindful of his injury, he shivered in excited anticipation. When he tried to return the favour, however, Jim carefully restrained him, murmuring, “Let me do the work this time, babe. I want to spoil you, and enjoy you. Can I?” 

And what else could Blair do but agree? As he was stripped, with every inch of exposed skin sniffed, tasted and imprinted by sentinel senses, the erotic experience aroused him more than he had ever been in his life before. By the time Jim had prepared him carefully with exquisite sentinel-sensitive touch, he was burning with lust and demanding to be taken. And who was Jim to disobey an order like that? 

Pushing into the silken heat of his guide for the first time was like nothing Jim had ever experienced before either, despite his previous sexual encounters. This was magical – transcendental, almost – and both men were soon lost in their shared love and lust. Any initial pain on Blair’s part was quickly replaced by pleasure as Jim deliberately aimed for his prostate again and again, and when they climaxed within seconds of each other, a sensation of mutual completion and rightness flooded their hearts and minds, and they both knew for a fact that this was how it was meant to be.   


\---------------------------------  


Cuddled together in the aftermath, Blair deemed it the right time to tell Jim of his decision – one which had been easy to make after all now that they were together in all ways. Raising himself enough to meet Jim’s soft but slightly quizzical gaze, he began. A little nervously at first, but gathering momentum as he realised that Jim didn’t seem to be mad at him at all. 

“I don’t have to tell you how wonderful that was, Jim. It was more than wonderful. The best thing that’s ever happened to me. And because of that, I have something I’d like to tell you, man. Something I truly hope you’ll like and agree with. 

“You see, I know you’ve never really liked the idea of being my study subject, and you only really agreed because you wanted my help. And I do understand that, Jim. I do. But before Eli left for Borneo, he gave me a lot to think about – for my own good, you understand. He’d already guessed who my Primary Subject was, Jim, and although he’d never tell, he said it wouldn’t take much for others to realise it also. And there was the question of my objectivity too. 

“I think it was already compromised by then, and now it’s non-existent! And you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because I’m not going to do the sentinel diss after all. I have more than enough data to do an alternative on the ‘thin blue line, closed society’ thing; in fact, I’ve already written a rough draft; so that’s what I’m going to submit if my dissertation committee agrees. 

“I still intend to finish the sentinel paper, but it’ll be for your eyes only. To help you with your gift. After all, I have my very own sentinel to study and to love now, so I don’t need to share! 

“Thing is, lover, that if I get my doctorate with the other paper, I’d like to see if I could persuade Simon to create an official consultancy position for me at the PD. So I can keep riding with you when you need me. Even if it was only part-time, I’m sure I could get some teaching at Rainier too. 

“So, what do you think?” and the nervousness was back as he waited for Jim’s response. 

“I think I love you more than life itself, Chief,” Jim breathed, the wonder on his face immediately putting Blair’s mind at rest. “It’s almost too good to be true, but I know that you can make it work. It’s everything I ever wanted, babe, and I can’t thank you enough. For everything. And particularly for loving me so much.” 

And he proceeded to show Blair just how grateful he was, to the younger man’s great delight and satisfaction.  



	5. Prompt - Growing old together

**Chapter 5: Prompt – Growing old together:**   


Over the next few days, Blair got to work on his change of plans, eager to set Jim’s mind at rest regarding the ‘sentinel’ paper. He was greatly relieved with the reception he got from his dissertation committee, who were to a man – and woman – only too pleased to learn that he already had a draft of the alternative one to consider. It turned out that they hadn’t held out much hope for the sentinel topic anyway, despite Blair’s acknowledged enthusiasm for the subject, and when he had obfuscated somewhat, telling them that his Primary Subject had withdrawn his consent for the study, they were happy to accept the change as long as the final copy was submitted within the next three months. For a consummate student like Blair, that target was eminently doable, especially now he had an added incentive, and Jim was more than contented with the outcome. 

Once Blair had secured the go-ahead for the change, he and Jim took their plans to Simon to see what he made of them. And they also needed to know what he made of their new relationship. As it turned out, for the most part, any concerns they might have had proved to be unfounded. 

Seated in their captain’s office, it was Jim who started the ball rolling when he explained just how much Blair had come to mean to him, and not just in ‘sentinel’ terms. 

“You see, it’s like this, sir. You know when I told you what Blair does for me by simply being there for me? How his very presence grounds me over and above all the helpful suggestions and theories he comes up with? Well, now I’ve learned to appreciate that there’s even more to our relationship than that. We love each other, Simon, as Jim and Blair, not just sentinel and guide, and we wanted you to be the first to know it. It’s not something I expected, but I’m more than grateful that Blair has consented to be my partner in all ways. It’s not something we’re going to shout from the roof tops, because we both know that there’ll be plenty of folks who won’t approve, but we’ll tell a few of our closest friends, probably at the next poker evening. 

“What we won’t be doing though is coming out about the ‘sentinel’ deal. That’s something neither of us wants to reveal.” 

Simon regarded them both thoughtfully for a moment before turning his attention to Blair. 

“So, Blair, is this really what you want as well? You really do love this big lug?” and when Blair nodded eagerly, he continued. “OK, well, this could complicate things as far as you two riding together is concerned, but only if it were generally known. So I agree that you should keep it on a need-to-know basis. Then again, I don’t honestly know how much longer I can keep your pass active anyway, especially after this last episode. What will you both do if Blair’s pass gets pulled?” 

That was Blair’s cue to explain what he wanted to do provided he achieved his doctorate. “You see, Simon, uh, sir. I really do need to be able to back Jim up when he uses his senses to the max. So I thought that, if you agree, perhaps it would be possible to create an official role for me? I’ve already changed the topic of my dissertation so there’ll be no danger of Jim’s identity being revealed, but if I could be some sort of consultant, I could ride with him when he needs me.” 

Simon pondered on his words for a while, a frown of concentration furrowing his brow while Jim and Blair waited anxiously for his response. 

“OK, then. This is what we’ll do. By the way, I’m very pleased for you both, even if I don’t need to know any details, OK? But first things first. I’m assuming there shouldn’t be a problem getting your alternative paper submitted on time, Blair?” and when Blair confirmed that he was almost ready, he continued. “Fair enough. And I hardly expect you to fail, so this is how we’ll play it. I’m going to see the Chief and the Commissioner, and explain to them how they can keep their best team together in an official capacity. I don’t think they’ll take much persuading, especially if you start on a case-by-case basis while they get used to the idea. 

“However, should the role become full-time, you’ll be expected to be available to other departments when required. Is that acceptable?” 

Blair nodded eagerly again. “Yes, Simon. We expected as much, so as long as I can ride with Jim when he intends to use his senses, that’ll be fine.” 

“OK, then. Leave it with me, and I’ll see what I can do. And I think you’re right to keep mum about the sentinel stuff. Most of your colleagues think you have some sort of edge, Jim, and that Sandburg has something to do with it, but I think in the main they just accept it for what it is, and don’t need to know anything more. I also think they already believe you’re a couple, so that won’t come as a shock to those you actually tell. And as long as you both maintain a professional demeanour in the workplace, I won’t have any trouble with that either. 

“So, go. Get those plans moving, and I’ll do my bit. And congratulations, guys. You deserve a bit of happiness.”  


\---------------------------------  


Having received Simon’s blessing, for the most part, their plans came together quickly and satisfactorily. Blair spent less time at the PD as he was concentrating on both finishing the diss as well as his responsibilities to the university, but made sure he was on call for Jim as necessary. 

They quietly admitted their new relationship at the next poker night, and were congratulated by Joel and H while Simon looked on smugly. Joel hugged Blair, for whom he had a particular soft spot, and slapped Jim companionably on the shoulder. 

“I’m glad for you, Jim. Glad for you both. And once Blair gets that PhD, I’ll look forward to working with our new consultant!” 

H mussed Blair’s curls as he grinned cheerfully at both his friends. “Good for you, Hairboy! And good for you too, Jim, my man! ‘Course, we thought you were already a couple, so it’s nice to be proven right!” 

The only one who had some reservations was Rafe, but he shook their hands anyway, and promised to try and work things out for himself in due course. 

And during that time their lovemaking also became even more pleasurable and adventurous, Blair proving to be as able a student in the art of sex as he was academically, to Jim’s great satisfaction. 

It seemed like no time at all until Blair submitted and successfully defended his dissertation, and the newly-minted Dr Sandburg became an official consultant to Cascade Central PD. He also did a little part-time teaching, so all in all was as happy as he could be, especially since Jim was equally so. 

The only slight dampener to their contentment came in the form of Blair’s mom, Naomi, who dropped by on one of her unexpected flying visits not long after Blair commenced his new role at the PD. 

Although she assured them that she had no problem with their new relationship, having long believed they belonged together, she wasn’t at all happy that her free-spirited son should have officially joined the ranks of the ‘pigs’, even in a subsidiary capacity. 

“But why, Sweetie?” she cried, having been apprised of his decision. “You have your doctorate now. You should be teaching – sharing your knowledge and personality with other like minds! Being a p…cop might suit Jim, but not you, Sweetie! Think of your karma!” 

Blair had been upset at first and then angry, not appreciating her barely-veiled criticism of his lover and his choice of career. 

“That’s enough, mom! For your information, I _am_ still teaching. Just on a part-time basis as required. But as far as my new role at the PD is concerned, I don’t think I’m doing my karma any harm at all! I can make a difference, Naomi, helping Jim and his colleagues to do their jobs to the best of their ability. I still love and respect all the wonderful, spiritual things you taught me and showed me, but reality demands that I accept my responsibilities to Jim and to those who need him. 

“Please, mom, try to understand! Jim means everything to me, and that goes for his role as society’s protector.” 

Naomi had left them then, telling them that she needed a few days to process what Blair had told her, but she earned both men’s admiration and respect when she returned less than a week later. 

While they were all seated at the kitchen table, she had taken one of each of their hands and told them what she had decided. Looking from one to the other, she smiled serenely as she gave them her blessing. “I’ve thought long and hard about what you said, Sweetie, and you’re right. I have no right to judge Jim for what he does, even if I admit I can’t yet actually say I approve of the police in general. I bow to your judgement, and to my own ability to judge character, and I believe that Jim is a truly honourable man. And a very sexy one too!” she added with a cheeky grin. 

“You make a lovely couple, and in a way, I also have to admit that I’m jealous. The love you have for each other is clear to see, as is your devotion, and I believe you’ll experience something I’ll never know. You’ll grow old together, your love enduring through the years, and I envy you even as I’m happy for you. My beautiful sons!” 

And that night; after Naomi had left them, carrying their love and grateful thanks with her; they had made gentle love, reaffirming their bond and sharing comfort and support. And as they settled down to sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, Jim had nuzzled his lover’s curl-covered ear before whispering, “You know, babe, your mom is so right. In our case, ‘life’ really does mean life, Chief!” 

To which Blair replied sleepily, “Tha’s good t’know, lover, ‘cos I _never_ want to be paroled!”  


**The End**


End file.
